How to dig an escape tunnel
Finding yourself trapped in a job that no longer ‘serves your soul’ is a tough situation. It's called being STUCK!
‘STUCK-land’ feels just as it sounds, constrained, with no room to move or ability to express your talent or personality. In a nutshell, there is likely no freedom to be who you are, contributing in a way that feels right for you.
If this state continues, sooner or later your ‘true self’ will want out! The compromise could get too painful.
Psychologically, when your ‘ideal’ and ‘actual’ selves are aligned with what you do, you will feel congruent, satisfied, and working at your best.
Sadly, so often accepting a new job or deciding to study a particular career path is done with little conscious awareness. Most of the time, our decisions are influenced by money and position, with negative consequences that can be insidious - and only become evident over time. At first, the money and position are seductive. We feel proud, and often feel that we have arrived!
Unfortunately, incongruence is unsustainable.
Sooner or later things begin to go awry. Relationships struggle, often there’s a clash of values, structural issues happen, or difficult power dynamics impact our ability to contribute at our best. Impacts on health and well-being sooner or later force us to consider leaving.
We know that a reactive escape (or change) is risky. However, there are things you can do to mitigate the risk.
It is helpful to reflect on how you got into the situation in the first place.
– What attracted you?
– Had you considered the conditions necessary for you to perform at your best before accepting the job?
– Did you do enough Due Diligence of the role?
– If you enjoyed it at the beginning, what changed?
– What has happened since feeling out of alignment with the job?
– Can you improve the situation – or is it time to leave?
– Is it time to rethink your career, to understand what you want in the longer term?
Most of us learned from being in the wrong job – or outgrowing one. It was easier to make changes when the job market was full of opportunities and when employers had more career development scope internally.
It is not quite like that now.
Recently I heard someone talking about digging an escape tunnel. This seemed like a powerful metaphor that reflects the current situation, suggesting that a deliberate approach to enacting change is preferable to a reactive one. Reactive change could result in you getting caught again in an incongruent situation.
How to dig an escape tunnel?
1. Firstly, don’t rush it – keep it under wraps (talk only to those who will support you).
2. Reflect on the questions above about how you got into the situation in the first place.
3. Evaluate what motivates you and what you want to be involved with.
4. Ask yourself how you would like to help the world. (This positively shifts motivation)
5. Do a career assessment – what other options show up that could be interesting?
6. Make a plan.
7. Get networking – zone in on the fields that attract you - find out about them.
8. See what you could get involved with now – at work. Or begin some study or voluntary work that will give you the knowledge, understanding, or skills you will need.
9. Learn how best to apply for roles in your areas of interest.
10. Be patient with yourself – a wrong move could cost you…
CareerEQ can help you dig your escape tunnel. www.careereq.nz
Kaye Avery
Ph - 006421474765